Dishonored for Savage Worlds

[Zoltan]

This conversion is based on the Dishonored video game series.
If you always found it fascinating but you were lazy to make it yourself here's your chance to gm it.

Download here
The file contains the Players Booklet and the Game Masters Booklet.

This is a test version yet, any advice is welcomed.

[Deskepticon]

I browsed the Player's Guide. It looks interesting. I got as far as the powers section, but will read the rest when I get a chance.

I found many grammatical errors throughout the document. I suggest going back and revising many paragraphs. Here is a list of things I found on the first page:

"Dishonored is a video game series that (currently) consists three games..."
Add "of" after consists.

"Your heroes are scoundrels who probably had a tough childhood, learned some trade and eager to achieve riches, fame and mystical powers."
Add a comma after trade. Add "are" before eager. Add a comma after "fame".
Also, I suggest changing "Your heroes are scoundrels" to "Your heroes might be scroundrels" so the sentence ties in better with the next one. Also, remove "probably."

"Or they might be children of rich or noble families who have been... dishonored and deprived of their luxurious lifestyle and the goal of the campaign is to regain their former status after a proper vengeance."
Odd placement for an elipses. If the goal is to emphasize the word "dishonored," I suggest italizing the word instead. Add comma after lifestyle.

"...won’t get the attention of the Outsider thus..."
Add comma after Outsider.

"At the start none..."
Add comma after start.

"And better to show interest in the game world, or otherwise be an active player."
Suggest removing this sentence as it disrupts the flow of the paragraph.

"Not everybody is required to get the mystical powers and no one should be excluded from the chance getting them."
Suggest changing the conjunction from "and" to "but," and add a comma after powers. Change "getting" to "to get."
Also, change "everybody" to "everyone".

Archetypes feedback:

"Hindrances" not capitalized multiple places throughout document, and skills are not listed alphabetically in several builds.

Bonded Sectarian does not have Vow listed under Hindrances.

Bonecharm Maker has overspent 2 points. Suggest dropping Occult to d8.

Defrocked Overseer spent one skill point too many.

Sailor has 1 unspent skill point. Suggest dropping Fighting to d6 and increasing Common Knowledge to d6. Sailors might get in the occasional bar-fight, but they definitely keep an ear to the ground.

Thug's Parry is 7. His Toughness is 8.

______

[Zoltan]

Thanks. Learning a language is not a quick process. Thus I cannot correct my grammar easily. I used a sentence checker for both files, that's what I could do. I will correct everything you and anyone else suggests regarding to the grammar, that's all I can promise.
It's unbelievable you checked the stats of the archetypes. That part was a bit rushed.
Next version will come roughly after a week.

[Zoltan]

0.2 version is available. Link in the first post.

Changelog:
-Some powers got a note, they can be used only for self.
-Some corrections in Archetypes.

[stormwell]

Hey, you still working on this?

I did a conversion some years back for a Savage Dishonored game, something that I am looking to update to SWADE. I've gone a different path with regards to some things, chiefly adapting some elements from the Dishonored RPG.

Bone Charms is something I've gotten round to and you've done a pretty good job with them.

[Zoltan]

Hi, I added everything I could. Different approaches could work, this is my best.
You can drop a link to your version if you want so, I don't mind. Or give better ideas.
However, I didn't want to copy the Dishonored RPG at all.

[stormwell]

Ok, heres my version; https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing