Date: September 21
Therapist: Dr. Leonard Mortin
DR. MORTIN: Dr. Omega, I umm…well, you’ve never woken me up in the middle of the night before? Are you all right? What is going on?
OMEGA: I will forgive your demanding tone, Dr. Mortin. This time. I do in fact have exciting news. I have a hobby!
DR. MORTIN: Oh, yes…well, that is big news. I do recall that we discussed the therapeutic advantages of taking up a hobby. But if I remember correctly, we also decided that attempting to take over the world is an occupation and not a hobby.
OMEGA: Yes, of course! My memory, as you well know, is perfect! No, my new hobby is…collecting V’sori Battle Masters! I just picked up a new one and I’m very excited! Who would have thought? I mean, I turned the last one into a lumbering psionic monstrosity but I can do anything I want with this one! What do you think? Would it be gauche to make another lumbering psionic monstrosity? Hmmm, maybe…
DR. MORTIN: Er, Dr. Omega, maybe it would be best if you started at the beginning of this latest…acquisition. And don’t forget to let me know how each event made you feel.
OMEGA: Very well, it was time for the monthly meeting of my Omega Men…
They sat around the oval table. Some of them stretched their legs out, where the way was not blocked by milk crates (holding the table up). Others were somewhat cramped or did not have legs in any case.
Dr. Omega looked around and nodded in confirmation, all were in attendance…almost. “Scrape! Where the hell is your half-wit brother, Vertebreaker? The meeting is starting!”
“He’s on the computer, Pa.”
Dr. Omega stomped over to the “lounge” where the OmegaMac sat. Vertebreaker was trying desperately to figure out how to “Check his Internets”. Computer Science is not something you pick up growing to monstrous maturity in a vat.
In his confusion, Vertebreaker typed his own name into Google, thinking that the computer would know that meant he wanted his email. Or something. A desperate, bony finger jabbed “Enter”.
Dr. Omega cut his network connection via a transmitter in his armor and was about to put his gauntleted fist through yet another monitor when he saw the results of Vertebreakers’ search. It was a website dedicated to…him. To Vertebreaker. Dr. Omega re-clicked the relay and the fist headed for the monitor swatted Vertebreaker off the chair.
What trickery was this? Opening multiple browser tabs, the fiendish doctor pulled up fan pages for each of the Omega Men. The Omega Women had several pages each. Many of those required credit card information to enter.
The mad genius called the others over to see. One by one, they sat and took in the sheer scope of their newfound Internet Fame. Dr. Omega himself cut his session short when the page he discovered for himself was found to be some sort of gay fetish site. Predictably, the computer monitor paid the ultimate price for someone’s digital adoration.
“Back to the meeting! Move!”
The villains settled back in, several clutching particularly flattering print-outs from their fan sites. Dr. Omega introduced Angela, the Yakuza Assassin he’d asked to return to the Omega Dome to “work off” part of her debt to the Omega Men. She was met with slight nods from most of the villains. Scrape’s attempt to wolf whistle ruined all of the paper print-outs in front of him, as well as part of the table.
The meeting proper commenced. Dr. Omega shared the results of his interrogation of the V’sori Battle Master, Tirosh. They then discussed other recent findings, such as the results of their last mission and the raid on the Drone Camp in Massachusetts. Dr. Saurial particularly asked a lot of pointed questions about the drone creation process, or at least the parts they’d seen at the camp.
Their discussion was interrupted by the still-active computer, which loudly announced, “You’ve got OMEGA mail!”
Cursing the busted CRT monitor, Dr. Omega pulled the message up on the Heads Up Display inside his helmet. Earlier, he’d sent a message to Crab Imperial, the giant mutant crab and would-be Emperor of the Seas, asking what he knew about the villain Hydra. Everyone knows that Hydra was the nemesis of Aquarian, but Aquarian was known to be long dead. His recent ‘encounters’ with Hydra’s illegitimate child made Dr. Omega highly suspicious.
The Omega Mail message from Crab Imperial said that he would discuss the matter with Omega over a meal of the highest quality at the Imperial Garden, one of the most successful Chinese restaurants in Westpoint. Crab Imperial owned and ran the Garden.
Lured not only by the promise of egg rolls, but also by the prospect of ending the Omega Meeting early, the villains all piled into the nondescript, grey van outside. Almost all of them, at least. Dr. Saurial drove Isis’s Porche and Isis herself drove her three-seater red motorcycle.
On the way to the restaurant, Dr. Omega explained his relationship with Crab Imperial. They had knocked over a series of banks in San Diego in the 1980s. The money they’d stolen funded a horrifying parade of death rays, giant robots and cyborg sharks. Ah, the good old days…
These days, Crab Imperial honors their old partnership, acting as an emergency resource for Dr. Omega. Should the unthinkable happen and the Omega Dome be compromised (again), Dr. Omega will escape in a pod that is launched via cannon into the Atlantic Ocean. A pre-determined and automatic distress signal will summon Crab Imperial’s Rangoons to come and haul the pod to place of aquatic safety.
“And there’s room for all of us in the pod, right, Pa?” added Vertebreaker.
“Oh…of course…son. There’s room for any and all…survivors.”
The grey van pulled up to the restaurant, Dr. Omega gestured to the Reverend Burdo. “Perhaps a tour group from out of town?”
The Reverend closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them, the Omega Men and even the Omega Minions appeared as normal people in loud Hawaiian shirts. Everyone appeared to have a camera, as well.
The Imperial Garden was something of a hot spot, by post-invasion standards. The V’sori even ate there, occasionally, and so gave Crab Imperial some latitude when it came to, well, existing. He fed their conquerors well and in return heard a lot of very interesting things.
After the minions were diverted off to a shabby back room (rules are rules), the ‘tourists’ were greeted by Crab Imperial himself! The giant purple, mutant crab scuttled up with menus clutched in one massive pincer, “Oooh! How many in your party, sir?”
Dr. Omega almost laughed. Burdo’s disguises were foolproof. “1986, Western Federal Credit Union. A man in a gray suit, begging for mercy. He had to go home…”
“To his dog! Ha! Ha! Ha!” finished the enormous crustacean. “Omega, so good to see you! And not floating in the At-“
“Yes! Very good, Imperial. Very good. These are my Omega Men. I can make proper introductions once we are seated?”
A well-appointed back room actually had a bit of room to spare once all of the villains and Crab Imperial had taken their seats. Imperial wore his Tyrant’s crown, glistening with cutting-edge electronic weaponry. His Scepter of Oppression was no less impressive and glinted as he gestured with it. Simply dressed Rangoons brought several courses to the table but it was not long before the conversation turned to business.
“ Hydra is a …delicate subject. He is dead. It happened just recently, I’m afraid. You know all about his suspected romance with the President’s daughter?”
“First hand. So to speak. But how did Hydra die?”
“Well, his hidden lab, his seaside lair, was invaded by the V’sori, in force. They killed him and said to be there right now, ransacking his research.”
“I see. Well, I-“
“Omega Men! Listen up!” All of the Omega Men’s comm. Beads boomed with the unmistakable voice of Dr. Destruction.
“Oh good, I was afraid we’d get to have a meeting in peace. What is it, Destruction?”
“Go to the former lair of Hydra. You will retrieve a long, blue box that looks something like a telephone booth. You will bring this device to a pre-designated drop point without bringing a whole battalion of V’sori coastal troops down on you. Drop information is forthcoming. Destruction out.”
They had all heard the message. They were all, to a man, annoyed by Destruction. Horribly annoyed. Murderously annoyed. Some day…
Dr. Omega gestured for everyone to place their comm Beads in a pile in the center of the table. He placed next to them a jury-rigged jamming device and switched it on. White noise filled the room.
“Imperial, we have reason to believe that Hydra had or has developed a way into Atlantis. A working teleportation tube, close to Star City. We’re going to get Destruction’s ‘phone booth’ but if you know anything else about Hydra, we need to know now.”
“Well, there are…rumors. A V’sori Battle Master, Ikaran, is said to have killed Hydra. You have to understand: Hydra could regenerate and was resistant to most forms of psionic attack. If this Ikaran killed him, then he is powerful indeed. Be careful, Dr. Omega.”
With that, the Omega Men took their leave. One short van ride later, they were back at the Omega Dome, making plans to infiltrate the lair of Hydra and recover the teleportation chamber.
The plan was (not unlike the Omega Men) simple in the extreme.
UPS would activate his Manta fighter and fly Scrape to the coast, where Hydra’s lair sat, built into the rocky seawall itself. They would float just under the surface of the water, avoiding detection, and wait for Dr. Omega’s signal.
The balance of the group would pile into a large boxy moving truck. Reverend Burdo would make it appear like a V’sori (Dr. Omega) was leading a moving crew of humans (everyone else) in delivering a truck full of scientific equipment to the lair. Some actual scientific equipment taken from the Omega Dome would lend creditability to their story and potentially prove useful to the mad Doctor should they need a hastily constructed device.
Dr. Omega directed his hulking clone sons to load a tarp-covered crate into the moving truck, as well. It took both brutes to muscle the box into the van, leaving little room for the various villains and henchmen. At one point, Scrape lifted the tarp and took a peek inside, joined instantly by Vertebreaker. They giggled maliciously.
The illusion lasted seconds, slightly longer than the plan.
The truck rolled down the dirt road to Hydra’s seaside lair. V’sori war-spheres hailed them but their hails went unanswered, bringing a swarm of war-spheres down on the truck, blasting away.
The villains cut slits in the cloth sides of the truck (the illusion would cover those as well). Those that had a clear line of sight shot war-spheres down, time and again.
One particular war-sphere hovered in front of the truck, where two of the robed omega Minions were driving. “Mira!”
It was to be the last word Gordita ever screamed and the last word Delgado ever heard. The war-sphere opened fire, smashing the windshield and vaporizing both minions. The truck swerved dangerously out of control.
“Isis!” shouted Dr. Omega, but the assassin was already bounding into the driver’s seat. “Ubu can drive, too!” she shot over her shoulder as she fought to bring the truck under control.
At the lair itself, a manta fighter had risen level with the windows built into the cliff face. Scrape peered in and saw a ‘garage’ of sorts, with a M’buna and a Manta parked in it. A lone K’tharen guarded the vehicles.
Or at least, he guarded the vehicles until he happened to peer out one of the windows. A misshapen fist smashed through the glass and grabbed the aquatic alien by the head. Then the hand squeezed.
Outside the lair, on the dirt road, at least a dozen more war-spheres had appeared.
Dr. Saurial had taken to the roof of the truck and was returning fire when a direct hit from a blaster rifle dropped him. A cursory glance made it clear that he was badly hurt. He lay on the floor of the truck, groaning, barely conscious.
Burdo’s minions were hanging off of the truck, shooting sphere after sphere. Vertebreaker was tackling and smashing them, but it wasn’t going to be enough.
Dr. Omega kicked the crate that he’d had his sons pack.
“Wake up! We need your…intellect.”
The tarp tore away, caught the rushing wind of the moving truck, and fluttered away. The PSI-borg sat up in its crate. Glowing red eyes sat below an armor-glass dome. Inside the dome, a grayish-purple V’sori brain pulsed steadily. This horrifying head sat on the shoulders of Terron’s former giant robot. Its head swiveled to face Dr. Omega.
“Send out a psychic message. Tell the war-spheres to stand down.”
The glowing red eyes pulsed. Dr. Omega turned around, looking out a tear in the fabric, tracking the battle. A scythe-tipped hand raised behind him…and lowered. The war-spheres stopped shooting.
Uninformed of this recent development, Vertebreaker slammed a war-sphere to the ground. “Yeah! Take that, bitch! Yeah! Who da man?”
“Vertebreaker, get in. I can see Scrape on top of the compound, motioning us into the garage.”
Inside the garage, the villains ignored the headless K’tharen and studied the control panel on the wall. Reverend Burdo lay his hands on Dr. Saurial and Vertebreaker, both hurt in the battle. The villains healed instantly, and stood to join the others.
They used the control panel to enter another room and were instantly set upon by two K’theren, a mob of Drones and four war-spheres (actually, the war-spheres were standing down).
Reverend Burdo gestured at one of the K’tharen, “Welcome to the fold.”
The shark-like alien nodded and attacked his comrade, killing him with a vicious bite to the neck. Angela and Vertebreaker tore into the drones, scattering them into smashed pieces. Isis saw a rack of weapons and ran over, loading up on power blades and gyrojet rifles.
Searching around the chamber, UPS and Scrape found a secret passage in a bathroom: stairs leading down. An elevator stood nearby, also indicating descent (buttons for lower floors only).
The villains sent the ‘converted’ K’tharen and all the surviving minions down the elevator as a distraction. They then took the stairs down the secret passage.
Downstairs, they found Hydra’s bedroom. A heart-shaped bed was the only tribute to luxury. Along one wall, a bank of monitors showed camera views from the entire lair. In the next room over, it appeared, the minions had already engaged more K’tharen, droids and war-spheres. More interesting yet, a V’sori in intricate battle armor watched the proceedings, directing the aliens. Ikaran!
The villains surged through the door, plowing into the remaining aliens! “Leave Ikaran to me!” shouted Dr. Omega as he triggered his teleportation circuitry.
With a popping sound of displaced air, he disappeared from the bedroom and appeared next to Ikaran. He pressed the business end of his stun wand to the V’sori’s unarmored neck. Sparks flew from the weapon.
Ikaran turned his gaze on the mad Doctor, his eyes were beginning to glow with directed psychic power.
Dr. Omega stood, frozen in shock. “Hi.”
“Dad!” Vertebreaker was still by the bedroom door, trying to pick the best part of the combat to charge into. Seeing his “father” in danger catapulted him into action! He tore the heavy metal door from its hinges and hurled it at Ikaran with all of his might.
The door stuck the V’sori in the base of his back. There was a crumpling sound as his armor crumpled from the sheer force of the blow. His bones fared little better. The Battle Master hit the ground, unconscious and bleeding internally.
By the time Dr. Omega had a hasty psi-nullifier banded to the V’sori’s head, the battle was over. Paco, one of the Omega Minions, had discovered Hydra himself, alive and kept in some sort of liquid-filled stasis tube!
Paco had released him (quite the clever one, that Paco) and Hydra teetered on the edge of consciousness. “Meros…he came to me, tried to make me forget…but I remember…I-“
“Fascinating.” Dr. Omega looked around, surveying the carnage his Omega Men had wrought. Dr. Saurial and Isis had even found the blue ‘telephone booth’ that Dr. Destruction had wanted.
Dr. Saurial also collected a large quantity of the liquid that the V’sori had Hydra floating in. Apparently the liquid negates super-powers. Saurial showed Dr. Omega how he could use a little to enhance his psi-dampener and then took the rest away in a mason jar.
Dr. Omega gestured for everyone to remove their comm beads and turned on his jamming device again. “Gather up all the tech that we can fit into the truck, along with the box. Dress Hydra in the robes of one of my dead minions. We’ll hide him at the Omega Dome. We know where his daughter is…and who has her. I’m betting that Hydra will be a valuable ally in taking down Dr. Destruction…permanently.”
Vertebreaker tapped Dr. Omega on the shoulder.
“What is it…son?”
Verebreaker displayed what passes for a smile, for him. “Um, where’s the PSI-borg, Pa? Did you leave it upstairs?”
“Indeed. I would have loved to have unleashed it in the crucible of combat, but it would not fit in the elevator or down the stairs. Or in the door. So I told it to wait upstairs.”
“Isn’t that dangerous? What if it turns on you?”
“Ah, Vertebreaker, you have so much to learn about life. I took the psychic brain of an alien warlord who I’d tortured for weeks and almost killed and placed it into a twenty foot tall killing machine. There is absolutely no way this can go wrong. I certainly haven’t created a dangerous arch-nemesis who’s bound to escape my control someday and wreak terrible revenge.”
“Oh. Ok.” Vertebreaker stomped off to help load the truck.
Dr. Omega checked the restraints on Battle Master Ikaran.
“Oh, my new friend. You and I will be having such…conversations.”
THE END (for now)
Last edited by Gospog
on Fri Sep 26, 2008 7:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
"I am forced to believe you guilty of impertinence, impiety, disregard and impudicity."