House of Flying Monkeys
Crouching Cowardly Lion, Hidden Scarecrow
A setting for Exalted, Legend of the Five Rings, Feng Shui or Oriental Adventures, whatever you need.
So you have come to me to learn the truth, well, you have come to the right insect spirit, traveler. I am the learned philosopher Highly Magnified, the only one of my kind here in the City of Green Jewels. I can tell by your expression you expected something different.
Perhaps when your ship went down in your world, you expected to perish. It sailed an ocean named for peace, did it not? Or perhaps your balloon was blown off course or your "air plane" wrecked. All of these methods have taken travellers from your land to ours over the many years.
And when people discover they have reached the great Land of Oz, they develop a new kind of expectation. They search for midgets man-children and find merely small adults. They search for talking animals and discover instead spirit-creatures.
Perhaps calling the tales of Oz in your world "inaccurate" is not true. After all, the gillikin lands are to the north and they do favor purple. Winkie country, where the Wicked Witch of the East lived until her assassination by an outworlder girl, is to the east, and of course the same outworlder girl killed the Wicked Witch of the West by accident upon her arrival. (Do not attempt to correct me regarding directions, outlander. I am Highly Magnified, I know my facts.) The Empress is Ozma, long may she reign, and she rules with the wise aid of an outlander named Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Issac Norman Henkle Emmanuel Ambroise Diggs. And she rules in a city that in your world would be called Emerald, although to us it is of course Jeweled Jade.
But the true facts of the battle for the imperial acession, the civil war occasioned by the good and wicked witch-queens, the barbarians of the Nome King's land, and the assassins of Merryland have been kept from you, translated into Western fairytales suitable for properly bloodthirsty children. It is a testament to the greatness of this land that even where it is considered to be fictional that people know the song that describes its location: somewhere over the rainbow.
There is, however, a reason that it is said to be "many miles east of nowhere". And not west.
"Clockwork Strike!" shouted Klak-Klik as her bronze fingers latched together and, palm outwards, she spun on whirring gears on her knees and waist to drop into a low, devastatingly powerful stance, knocking the brute backwards. His furry body smashed into the yellow bricks, he painfully roared his protests as the others slid their claws from their sheaths. The blades glistened red in the sunset.
I got back to back with my companion from Ev and drew my scimitars. The red sashes bobbed in the fragrant Munchkinland breeze. It was cool.
The Merryland ninja sneered. He pulled his mask back down. "Very well, quadling." he said, raising his razor-edged tonfa. "Let's see what you have."
"You won't bring your opium through my province if I have anything to say about it!" cried my outlander friend Amelia, levelling her fire-arm. For not the first time I was glad that although she'd "gone native" with her hair magically transformed to the emerald green of our Great City, she had not forgotten either the spirit that had served her so well or the remaining bullets for her outworld pistol.
"You'll have to kill us." said the ninja soberly. "I'd rather be in still-living pieces than have to report back to the Witch that all those poppies were for nothing."
That was all the time there was for talk.
If you thought the Wizard of Oz was a good book but needed more ninja....
If you thought it was a good movie but would have been better if it starred Sammo Hung as the Wizard and Michelle Yeoh as Dorothy...
If you grew up reading L. Frank Baum and watching kung fu movies....
If you like settings that are falling out of copyright...
Then you need....
THE HOUSE OF FLYING MONKEYS
If Oz was to be savaged, would it have a Western flavor or an Eastern flavor?
Midnight in a field of corn, and Dahr-Threi ran panicking through the long stalks, her boots of ruby giving her speed that few of her foes would be able to match. However these were not ordinary foes who pursued her. They were the Straw-Men, creations of an insane druid of aeons past as part of a great army of invasion. That army was long since disbanded, but the Straw Men remained.
Glancing back over her shoulder she saw the ripple of movement through the darkened field as they closed. Suddenly she felt her foot catch something - she knew she had not tripping on uneven ground, as she was far too light on her feet for that - but she tumbled nonetheless. Glancing down she saw a hand formed of straw holding her foot.
Clever, she thought, they were waiting in ambush.
The straw man unfolded itself to its full height, three times that of a man, dangling her in the air by the ankle it still grasped. Beneath the brim of its ragged cloth hat she saw its sackcloth face, blank save for a maw of bloody iron teeth.
and of course the eternal question... would there be zombies?